Hi Friends,
Today’s poem discusses the expectations that many of us have towards our parents. It also explores how to redefine our relationship with them by choosing a different lens.
If you like the poem, or if you think it can inspire someone , it will mean a lot to me if you share it, leave a comment, or subscribe to this newsletter.
The Titans
Many of us
grow under the wings of our parents.
We love them fondly.
We adore them.
They seem bigger than life.
They gave us life.
They seem to be
so infinitively more than we are.
They are everything we have.
They are everything we first know.
They are our TITANS.
Then we grow up some more
and our world gets bigger
and the scales are shifting
and then one fine day
we see their weaknesses,
their flaws,
their wrongs,
and sometimes we hold grudges,
or even we feel betrayed
by our BELOVED TITANS.
Our hearts revolt against the felt deception.
Our world has changed
as the titans betrayed us
with their own humanness.
MY DARLING,
that’s exactly it.
Your parents were never titans
they are humans
can you accept them as such?
And as you raise
your own children:
Tell them
about the Humans,
with flaws and weaknesses
Humans who are not all good nor all evil
Tell them
that most of the Humans
just try their best
not knowing the way.
Be gentle with your parents
by learning not to revere them as Titans
but by lovingly allowing their full humanness.
The Titans we see – the Humans they are:
No matter how old we are, one of the key relationships - sometimes beautiful, sometimes painful, sometimes all at once - is the one to our parents. In our formative years, many of us tend to idealize our parents. We often perceive them as infallible pillars of strength and wisdom who guide, protect, nurture, and provide for us without faltering. Subconsciously we often elevate them to almost mythical status. They become larger-than-life figures. We see them as Titans.
Elevating our parents to Titans is not a conscious decision, but rather a natural outcome of the dependence and emotional bond between a child and a parent. But as we grow older, we notice the cracks in this idealized image. We come to see our parents not as perfect archetypes, but as human beings—flawed, fallible, and just as capable of mistakes as anyone else. This shift in perception, though sometimes painful, is a critical step in deepening our understanding of not only our parents, but also ourselves. By viewing them as “Humans” rather than as “Titans”, we can cultivate deeper empathy and understanding.
In this process, we can free them and ourselves from the weight of unrealistic expectations. We begin to recognize that they, like all humans, are navigating life with their own imperfections. This humanizing view fosters a more tolerant and forgiving relationship, allowing us to meet them on a more equal footing.
Humanizing works both ways:
And as you raise
your own children:
Tell them
about the Humans,
with flaws and weaknesses
For those who are parents themselves, it’s essential to remember that the process of humanizing works both ways. Just as we benefit from seeing our own parents as imperfect human beings, our children benefit from seeing us, and themselves, in the same light. Instead of striving to present ourselves as infallible figures, it’s healthy to acknowledge shortcomings and mistakes.
By admitting our faults and apologizing, we teach our children a valuable lesson: it’s okay to be imperfect. Love and flaws are not mutually exclusive. In fact, showing our weaknesses and apologizing for mistakes can strengthen the parent-child bond. It teaches children that we are all "work in progress," and that perfection is neither required nor realistic. In doing so, we allow our children to grow into more self-compassionate individuals, free from the pressure to always meet unrealistic standards of perfection whilst maintaining a deep sense of worthiness.
For reflection:
One powerful exercise in personal growth is to reflect on our relationship with our parents from the perspective of their humanity. Try viewing them as fallible individuals doing their best with the tools they had at the time. Consider the ways in which your own parents have struggled, erred, or faced challenges.
This is not meant to excuse possible mistakes but to look at them through a different lens that helps you move from a place of criticism to compassion.
Ask yourself:
Were your expectations of your parents realistic? Have you been holding onto resentment or disappointment because they didn’t live up to an idealized version of themselves?
Does seeing your parents through a more human lens allow you to release some of the burden of resentment? More importantly, does it help keep your heart open, allowing for healing and a more honest relationship?
Are there other reltionships in your life that you can redefine by consciously choosing a more human lens?
How does viewing others in a more human manner make you feel about yourself? Do you feel more compassionate about yourself?
I hope these thoughts mean something to you. If so, it would mean a lot to me if you take a moment to comment, share or like the post.
Warm wishes
Rose JAH
💛 P.S. Acknowledging imperfection allows for love to flourish in its most authentic form. Be courage to love the imperfect in yourself and others. 💛