The myth of self-sacrifice: Reclaiming our worth beyond achievement

Self-care as an act of courage, not selfishness.

Hi Friends,

In a world that constantly rewards productivity and relentless striving, there’s an unspoken narrative that especially women internalize—that we must constantly prove our worth through giving, working, and doing.
This narrative is deeply ingrained, perpetuating the myth that self-sacrifice is always admirable and even commendable, but is it? How did we come to believe that our value is tied to the extent of our exhaustion and that our collective exhaustion benefits the world? Why do moments of rest feel like illegitimate indulgences?
My poem deals with these questions and is called “Tell me why”.

💛 If this poem means something to you, it will mean a lot to me if you subscribe, share it, or leave a comment further below. 💛

TELL ME WHY

Tell me why
is it still acceptable and
even considered commendable
when a woman tells another woman
how much she has cared
for everyone
whilst
leaving herself in need.
How she has dispensed all of her energy
for everything
except for herself.
Tell me why.

Tell me why
is it considered outstanding
to work late hours
and neglect yourself.

Tell me why
we feel guilty
about moments of rests
about doing less
about attending to our needs
about leaving work in time
about slowly drinking our tea.
Tell me why.

Tell me how
we can ever be a good example
to our kids,
to our sisters,
to our friends,
when we are not good to ourselves
Tell me how.
Tell me why.
Tell me how.

Tell me why
we are constantly doing
and trying
and achieving.
Do we believe
that we have to prove our worth ?
Don’t we believe
that we were born worthy?

Remember:
You were born worthy.
You are worthy.

The Culture of Overgiving 

Women, in particular, are often celebrated for their ability to care for others, even at their own expense. Whether it's in the workplace or at home, pouring energy into everything and everyone except themselves has become a badge of honor. But should it be?

“Tell me why is it still acceptable, even considered commendable, when a woman tells another woman how much she has cared for everyone whilst leaving herself in need?”

This question challenges the societal expectation that our worth is measured by how much we give to others, often at the cost of our well-being. Why is the act of self-sacrifice lauded while self-care is often guilt-ridden?

The Guilt of Rest 

In our culture of hustle, rest is often viewed as laziness or failure to keep up. Taking time for oneself feels like a betrayal to the ideals of hard work and success. For many, there’s a pervasive sense of guilt attached to resting or simply slowing down.

“Tell me why we feel guilty about moments of rest, about doing less, about attending to our needs, about leaving work in time, about slowly drinking our tea ...”

The notion of “doing” is deeply ingrained in our psyche. When did we start believing that rest was unworthy, that taking time for ourselves was selfish or unproductive?

The Fallacy of Achievement as Worth 

Society has long upheld a narrative that our worth is measured by our achievements. The pressure to constantly produce, achieve, and prove oneself is not only exhausting but also dehumanizing. This constant striving for external validation keeps us from recognizing our inherent worth.

“Tell me why we are constantly doing and trying and achieving? Do we believe that we have to prove our worth through all this doing? Don’t we believe we were born worthy?”

It is not what we do that makes us worthy—it is who we are. Yet, the cultural script has taught us to confuse the two.

Reclaiming Our Worth Beyond Productivity 

We are born worthy. Every individual has inherent value, not because of what we do or how much we give, but because we exist. It’s time to dismantle the myth that self-sacrifice is the ultimate virtue. Women, and everyone for that matter, deserve to care for themselves without guilt.

We don’t need to earn our worth through overachievement or self-neglect. By embracing rest, setting boundaries, and giving ourselves the care we so freely give others, we honor our inherent value.

It’s time to change the narrative.
We must reclaim our worth by understanding that rest, self-care, and setting boundaries are acts of courage, not selfishness.
We were born worthy, and no amount of doing can add or subtract from that inherent truth.

By taking care of ourselves, we set a powerful example—for ourselves, for others, and for the next generation.

Love,
Rose

💛 P.S. Take good care of yourself 💛
If you think this poem can help someone to take better care of herself/ himself, then please pass it on.