Mami, what colour is my skin?

A Bus Ride to the Rainbow Shop: Exploring identity, love, and belonging through the eyes of my child

Whilst today’s post explores non-duality through the eyes of my daughter, my last post explored non-duality through my eyes as a “brown’ writer. If you missed it, you can catch up here: Writing from a space of non-duality.

Mami, what color is my skin?

“Mami, what color is my skin?”
Her little fingers trace her chin.
Brown eyes with wonder, soft and clear -
“Is it like yours, Mami? Look here.”
She gazes up, her eyes so wide,
Comparing her hand to mine by her side.

“Is it like yours Mami, or Daddy’s light?
Or maybe like Tante Kati’s, she is glowing so soft and bright?”
I hold her hand, feel the beat of her heart,
as questions of color and love start.

“Mami, do we have the same glow?”
She waits for answers, I barely know.
I pause to think of words to share,
But before I speak, she’s floating elsewhere.

“Mami, I want rainbow hair!”
She grins and twirls with a joyful flair.
“Rainbow hair?” I ask, a smile in my tone.
“Where shall we find it?” – I say with delight.
She beams and shouts, “Let’s go tonight.
It’s at the rainbow shop!
We just need to take the bus until the next stop.”

Her joy swirls, like colors bright,
Imagining a world in every light.
“And maybe, Mami, they’ll have there too,
Rainbow skin and rainbow eyes for me and you.”
“Rainbow eyes?” I ask, caught in surprise.
She smiles with wonder in her eyes.

I am freed by her wonderful view—
A place where all shades blend anew.
In her heart, each hue belongs,
A world of rainbows, full and strong.

I hold her close,
our colors blend,
in this rainbow tribe
where love will never end.
💛💜🧡💚🤎🩷🩵❤️

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Dear Friends,

My 3-year-old daughter, Zahara, never stops to show me the world in new and surprising ways. With her Sierra Leonean, German, Bahamian, and American roots, she embodies a vibrant tapestry of cultures and identities. One night, she looked up at me with her wide, curious eyes and asked, “Mami, what color is my skin?”

“Mami, do we have the same glow?”
She waits for answers, I barely know.

I paused and before I could respond, she declared that she wanted “rainbow hair,” and maybe even “rainbow skin and rainbow eyes.” She imagined a world where all these colors could coexist.

1.       Zahara’s vision of “rainbow skin” symbolizes the freedom found in looking beyond simplistic labels. Binary thinking—trapping ourselves in rigid “either/or” categories—limits our ability to appreciate the complexity that makes us human. By embracing life’s “rainbow” instead, we open ourselves to deeper, more compassionate ways of engaging with the world and each other.

2.       Seeing through “rainbow eyes” as adults requires a conscious choice: the unlearning of dualistic thinking. “Rainbow eyes” view the world with a broad, open mind, unencumbered by the labels we often impose. They help us see others—not through narrow identities, but in their full complexity. They invite us to be curious about what lies beyond initial impressions, beyond what we think we already know.

3.       Zahara didn’t want just one color; she wanted them all, sensing that each one held a piece of her story. Perhaps she’s right. Our identities are woven from everything we encounter, everyone we love, and everything we dream of. Like a rainbow, which exists as a seamless spectrum, our lives are enriched when we stop dividing ourselves into separate bands and see ourselves as a harmonious whole. Zahara’s vision of a “rainbow world” reminds us that we, too, are part of something greater, something profoundly connected.

Perhaps, like my daughter, we can begin to imagine a “rainbow world” without the need to categorize, and with the courage to love all the colors that make us whole.

Prompts for reflection:

• Think of times when you perceive yourself or others through limiting binaries. How can you approach these perceptions with greater nuance and openness?

• What would life look like if you embraced the full spectrum of who you are? Imagine your life free from societal labels and expectations. How might this shift impact your choices, relationships, and self-expression?

• How can you help others feel seen beyond the categories they’re often assigned? Reflect on ways you might support others in moving beyond limiting labels, encouraging them to embrace the fullness of their identities.

With colorful love,
Rose

💛I hope these thoughts mean something to you. If so, it would mean a lot to me if you take a moment to comment, share or like the post. And if you haven’t subscribed to my newsletter yet, please do. 💛